my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
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