I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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