Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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