There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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