If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i think i just lost a toe
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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