nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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