I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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