soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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