I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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