wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
