Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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