I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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