My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
