If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
