tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
