its not stalking. its research.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize