And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
