I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am naked and annoyed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
