i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
