you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
