So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Randomize
