is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
