So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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