Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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