I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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