I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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