Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
