I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize