I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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