WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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