I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize