I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
