can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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