All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
