Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
