We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i think i just lost a toe
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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