I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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