i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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