nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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