before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I need to wash the frat house off of me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
