do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
