North Korea, Best Korea!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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