Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
please come you make the beer taste better
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
