he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
