Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
