I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
