After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
