How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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