Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
