im about as happy as oj after his trial
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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