put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
