Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
