I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
