You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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