Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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