Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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