I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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