he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize