well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
