you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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